After a long weekend a girl needs to relax
Saturday night I went to another friend's party at Clark's Fish Camp. The food was delicious. I had the prime rib philly. The food was trumped, however, by the pod of manatees that were hanging out by the restaurant's dock. This was the first time I'd seen these amazing animals. Father's Day was really special. Lyla made me a bookmark, because she loves to find my book and remove my marker, and I also received Ticket to Ride, a really fun board game. This morning Lyla and I made muffins for the playgroup she goes to with Vanessa. She loves stirring the muffin mix together and then gets super excited when she hears the timer go off. I also enjoy the daily request of, "daddy, play guitar?"
Last week I was able to start working on recording some of my music. This excites me for two reasons. First, because it'll be good to have my songs recorded. The other reason is that I'm learning how to run a studio, which is one of the things I hope to do when we return to Asia.
I think lately Father has been helping me work through dealing with Casey's death. It's already been over a year, but in a way it's still sinking in. Knowing that as Lyla grows up she won't get to enjoy knowing both Casey and David hurts. It almost feels like there will be a hole in her life from not experiencing who they were. I just started reading The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge as part of a study the YWAM staff is doing and he shares something Nicholas Wolterstorff wrote which seems to sum it up pretty well,
There's a hole in the world now ... A center, like no other, of memory and hope and knowledge and affection which once inhabited this earth is gone. Only a gap remains. A perspective in this world unique in this world which once moved about in this world has been rubbed out ... There's nobody who saw just what he saw, knows what he knew, remembers what he remembered, loves what he loved ... Questions I have can never now get answers. The world is emptier.While that sounds a bit depressing, and it is, Father has also been showing me the truth of the situation. In my last post I mentioned the new Hillsong United song You Hold Me Now. We've done this song the past couple of Sundays and I can't help but think of Casey. Check out the chorus lyrics, "No weeping, no hurt or pain, no suffering You hold me now, You hold me now, No darkness, no sick or lame, no hiding, You hold me now, You hold me now." What an awesome picture of Heaven. When looked at from this perspective I find it really hard to wish he was still here instead of experiencing that. Here's the song if you'd like to check it out.
(Lament for a Son)
(Lament for a Son)